Lanae' Hale: Back and Forth

The moment the first song, "Back and Forth" hit my ears with its debut on MTV's "The Hills", I was expecting good things from Lanae's record. Once I got the CD in my hands, it was no letdown. Just when I thought the CD couldn't get any better, something else jumped out at me on the next song that made my heart jump. When you listen to her music you know that it's completely coming from her heart and soul. It's like it's all written down on the paper for the world to see, and when music is done that way, it brings you to a place that is real and makes you feel the things that you hold inside and hug so tight you don't want to let go. From the quirky little love song "Let's Grow Old Together" to "Here's to the Girls", the album is very well rounded and deep and fun, too. It has a good summery vibe to it, that makes you just want to ride around with the windows down, with your hair blowing in the wind and letting things go and casting your cares to Jesus.

Check out Lanae's music at www.lanaehale.com and figure out how you can get her album for $5.00!

Where in the world is Kaitlyn?

More like 'Where on the world wide web is Kaitlyn?' Well, since you are asking, I will deliver!

Facebook: If you haven't already discovered the phenomenon that Facebook has turned into, well I personally think you need to. It's a lot easier to communicate with your friends and it's so much fun! If you don't have me as a friend yet, just type in Kaitlyn Luce and add me!

Twitter: Twitter is the newest sensation on the internet, although I jumped on that train a year before it got really popular. It's just a simple way of finding out what your friends are doing in 140 characters or less. If you have a twitter then start following me at www.twitter.com/frequ3ntliblond. If you don't have one, what are you waiting for?

Myspace: Yes, yes. I still have a myspace, but only because I have those few friends that still haven't seen what facebook has to offer. So, if you are still stuck on myspace you can add me at www.myspace.com/dancingirl90

Youtube: I have a youtube channel with a bunch of concert videos and a few other little things. If that sounds neat to to you, subscribe at www.youtube.com/user/frequ3ntliblond3

Downhere is a blessing.

This past weekend, May 1st-May 4th, I was up in North Aurora, IL hanging out with friends from downhere's message boards and the guys from the band. It was one of the best weekends I have ever had. If you read my blog on a regular basis, you know that I've been struggling a lot lately. For the first time in the past two months, I could actually smile and mean it. I was happy and was laughing more than I had in two months. I felt alive again, and it felt amazing! I've noticed that whenever I see downhere, it is exactly when I need it. The first time I saw them, that was the night that I got saved. The second time, it was when my Grandma has just recently been diagnosed with cancer and this time it was shortly after my Grandma had passed away. Funny how God works that out.

This concert was a very special one, though. It was a benefit for a lady on the boards whose husband recently passed away. Saturday night was amazing. It was hilarious, beautiful and emotional. Jason dedicated 'Hope Is Rising' to Ron and I would be surprised if there was a dry in the room. They put everything that they had into this show for Lori and her son Ben.

Speaking of putting everything they had into the show, Marc totally hammed it up for the cameras, and was POSING for the front row, which was filled with photo-ing and video-ing. It was so funny, because it was so obvious that he was doing the things he was doing on purpose just for photo purposes. Maybe that's why so many of my pictures turned out so good. ;-)

Anyways, on Saturday I didn't really get the opportunity to talk to them at all, because I didn't want to be in their way or anything. On Sunday they played at Lori's church and did the worship, which was really really cool. Sunday more than made up for not talking to them on Saturday. I was talking to Jason about, I don't really remember what now, but this little kid walked up to Jason and said "Excuse me, Mr. Jason. Whenever you are done talking, you need to go over there." We both turned to each other and just started cracking up. Mr. Jason was very popular that morning. Marc and I got to talk and joked around a lot, too. He was very talkative that morning. So was Glenn. I had never really gotten the opportunity to talk to Glenn before, so it was really great to have that opportunity. Jeremy was extra super busy that morning selling merch and everything, so I didn't get to talk to him too much.

After they were all done packing up their equipment, Hannah and I were talking about finding little treasures that you wouldn't expect to find, and then right after she said that she found an easter egg that was forgotten from an easter egg hunt. At that moment Jason came over and laughed at us and then we had a pretty neat conversation. I found out that he's a pilot. I had no idea he was one at all. It was really cool to find out things that I had no idea about. Then we had to say good bye to them. It was a good weekend, but it had to come to an end at some point in time.

One thing after another...

Lately it seems as if one thing comes after another. My life isn't usually this eventful. Some of it's good and some of it's bad, but seriously..the bad has really been getting be down lately. I'm usually a pretty positive person no matter what happens, but all of this crud has just got me feeling down in the dumps. I got sick this week and it's got me moping around like it's more than just a cold. I haven't been sick in over a year and a half. Not once, and this is how I act? I'm ready to just tell myself to suck it up and get over it. I want to go back to being my normal self so bad. The Kaitlyn that always has a smile on her face. Whenever she speaks she can barely speak because she's got such a huge smile on her face, the one that is so happy with the way life is going that it just oozes out of her.

I have so many different reasons to be smiling right now, too. Through the bad so many good things are happening and I can only thank Jesus for providing for me. First it was me finding this summer camp to work at and being so enthusiastic about it, and feeling confident that I would get the job because it was almost like God had already confirmed things with me. I ended up getting the job and I can't wait for this summer. I am ALMOST counting down the days! I am also flying up to Illinois to see my favorite band in concert, and hang out with some amazing people from their message boards for a couple of days. That's more than I could ask for! THEN my secret sister from church [I don't know who..it's a secret DUH!], gave me TWO tickets to go see the Newsboys in concert as an early birthday present. Seriously..how much better could things be? I feel like I should be on cloud nine right now, yet I still feel like i'm down in the dumps. God has provided for me in so many ways just when I need it. The only thing that I can think of is the fact that I am still having a problem with the passing of my Grandma, and the fact that I haven't been spending time with God like I should. Please pray for me.

Maybe I'm not okay...

Ever have one of those days where everything seems to all come crashing down at once? That's been my day, for sure. I hadn't been to church in two weeks because life has been crazy and i've been out of town. Usually after I go to church, I feel refreshed and new and I come away with something. Not today. Things really really just got to me a lot. Everything was getting to me so much that I couldn't even focus. It's like a war is raging inside me and I honestly have NO idea what the heck I'm supposed to do. I haven't actually sat down and read my bible and had God time in I don't even know how long. I always come up with an excuse not to do it, and I know that's not the way it should be. Which could be my problem. Losing my Grandma has certainly taken a toll on me and all of my family, and i've been trying to keep it together and I think it's time that I face it and just say I can't. She's gone in Heaven, there's nothing I can do about that. I know she's not suffering any longer and let me just say, she's amazing. Amazing for living such a good life here on earth, and then going to live eternally with Jesus Christ and her life there is going to be so much more amazing there, too. It just hurts so much to see my family struggling the way that they are without her here. Seeing my mom struggling every day to get through a daily task is so difficult. I want so much to just take the pain away from her, but I can't. Knowing that I can't talk to her on the phone anymore, or hear her voice when I walk into their house tears me apart inside.

What it really comes down to is the fact that i'm having a really hard time with this. A harder time than I thought I would. I've tried to push my feelings away for the past year and two months and it's not happening anymore. I hate showing the way i really feel and letting people know that I am hurting. I can't do that anymore. I just can't. If i've been short with you these past few weeks, or if i've become frustrated for no reason, or if i've just been quiet and don't know what to say, it's because I'm trying to figure out how to grieve. It's not that I don't want to have anything to do with you, it's just that I need my space somedays and need to be left alone. That doesn't mean I don't want you around, but I need you guys to understand that i'm just having a hard time.

Sweet kisses.

My Grandma passed away on Monday March 2nd, 2009. It's been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. She was very special to my whole family. She touched people's lives outside of the family. Whether she was at the grocery store or at the beauty parlor..she was always lighting up lives. She was the one person, no matter what she said to me, she could always make me smile from encouragement. She brought out the best in others and was always putting others before herself. Here are some of my favorite memories:

1. Sitting on her lap, facing her in the rocking chair, sticking her coin necklace into her mouth and her spitting it out saying "I am not coin operated."

2. My cousin Monique and I spending the night at our Grandparents house and waking up the next morning to my Grandma asking "Do you want ice cream for breakfast?" With waffles, of course.

3. Her teaching me how to do a "ballet bun".

4. Going swimming in the pool at their house and jumping off the diving board asking if she could score us on our jumps.

5. Finding a trail of bobby pins all throughout the house that had fallen out of her hair.

6. Watching her put her powder on and freshen up.

7. The sweet smell of my grandparents bathroom and all of the powder on the floor from my Grandma.

8. Playing restaurant at the bar in their house with a bunch of licorice and gummy bears.

9. Teaching her how to play spit with me and her becoming equally as good as I was.

10. Her rubbing my head when I was really sick in 7th grade. Somehow her touch made the horrible headaches and tummy aches go away.

11. Watching her do all of her crafts and then teaching them to me, too.

12. The sight of a word search book at her side all the time and her teaching me how to best spot the words. I still use those tips to this day.

13. Her laugh, her smile and her bright blue eyes.

14. The fact that we both got extra turkey wings on Thanksgiving because that's really the best part.

15. Her teaching me how to put a pony tail holder in my hair and my frustration every time I messed it up.

16. The way she always called "Hello" whenever you walked into the house.

17. Her pasta salad on Christmas and in the summer.

18. The way she would always go above and beyond on all holidays for her family.

19. The 'banana apple stuff' that she always made on Thanksgiving. In case you haven't figured it out, she was a great cook!

20. The way she comforted me when I was so sad after losing my Grandpa on my Dad's side of the family. The way she sat there and just wrapped me up in her arms and told me that it would be okay. Then she offered me some of her oatmeal cookies.

That is exactly how my Grandma was. It's so hard to imagine life without her, but I know for a fact that she is up in Heaven smiling down at all of us. No more pain and suffering.

Rest In Peace
Grandma Edna
June 5th, 1936-March 2nd, 2009

16.

25 things.

This has been going around facebook like it's going out of style. I did my 25 things on facebook, but since i'm bored, i'm typing up a whole new list with [hopefully] better things.


1. Ever since I was little I have always had something to commit my time to. From age three to 7th grade I did ballet, from 8th grade to 10th grade I did swing dancing and from 9th grade to 11th grade I did colorguard. Now that I don't have a specific activity to devote my time to, I feel really inactive and sluggish. I miss every one of those activities, but in all honesty, I'm afraid of doing things like that again. Since I gave all of them up I'm afraid that i'll start it, and then just when I get caught up in it again something inside of me tells me no.

2. I use music as a substitution for conversation a lot of the time. This especially rings true when I am with a group of people. I hate talking when there is more than one person around because there is always someone trying to talk over me. So instead I have a conversation with the music, about the music, or just listen to the music so no one talks.

3. I hate serious eye contact. It makes me feel nervous. Chances are you will barely ever find me looking at your eyes when you speak to me. I always , no matter what, look at someone's mouth.

4. I have been biting my nails since the day I found out how to use my teeth and stick my fingers in my mouth. It's a really bad habit and gets even worse when i'm nervous or excited. Speaking of fingers..my thumb on my right hand is significantly shorter than the thumb on my left hand. It's shorter, fatter and the nail is very tiny. I was born that way, so I didn't chop it off, push it in, or do a thumb stand. I really hate it and can become very self-conscious about it.

5. Over the past few years music has become a huge part of my life. Jesus saved me through it, so it's very meaningful to me. I hate music that is too commercialized. I can't stand Casting Crowns and Mercy Me. Music that makes the wheels in my brain start turning and makes me think and sets a fire inside my veins is what I love.

6. It has taken me a year and a half to complete my senior year of high school. I didn't plan for it to be that way, but it did. When I think long and hard about the fact that I could already be in college it makes me wish I was still in public school. It's made me anxious and ready to start college.

7. I hate where I live with a passion. Port St. Lucie is a place where old people come to retire and roam free. It has nothing for me and I have nothing for it. After living here for the 18 years of my whole life, it just gets uglier and more depressing than it was the day before.

8. Two years ago I knew that I wanted to work in the music industry. As the days have gone by God has made it more lcear to me that He wants me to be a road manager for a band. I've had people tell me over and over again that they think i'll be great at it, which gives me the push that I need. I've also had people tell me that i'm the wrong person for the job. When people say things like that it only makes me want it that much more.

8. I get cold really easily and I am cold almost all the time. Since I live in Florida, I actually love the cold. Despite how much you see me talking about how cold I am. Don't think I hate it, because I really don't. :-)

9. The sound of my kitty cats purr is relaxing to me and puts me to sleep almost every night. That little black ball of fur is Heaven sent. <3

10. Almost every time I move some bone in my body cracks. I love when my back, hips and knees pop. It feels really amazing. Whenever I walk the bones in my feet always crack and they make music.

11. I love sweet tea and love imitating people with horrible southern accents and the way they say "Sweet or unsweet?"

12. I have a big family and love it most of the time, but it's taken a lot of adjusting. Even though my step-sister and I have become extremely close, we still need our space and alone time. I need time for just myself every day, or I can become really unpleasant to be around.

13. I have atleast one or two days during the week where I do absolutely nothing and I enjoy every second of it.

14. The place where I feel most comfortable is at a concert hanging out with my favorite artists. The only real way to enjoy a concert is if you are in the front row. I've experienced this first hand. Otherwise, it's just boring.

15. I don't normally ever have a problem with bugs, but spiders and bees/wasps just scare the life out of me. I have a scare on my right forearm from a wasp sting that I accidentally pushed into my arm a few years ago.

16. Math has always been my worst subject. I don't get anything about it. I probably have a math level of a first grader. I don't even remember how to divide. It's that bad.

17. The outdoors is amazing. I would rather hangout outside then be inside any day. I love camping..everything about it!

18. I think I am perfectly proportioned in every way. There is no part of my body that is bigger or smaller than the other and I am thankful for that.

19.I hate spending money. I like to know that whatever I spend my money on will be totally worth it in the end.

20. I love photography, and want a very very nice camera at some point in the future.

21. I have some of the greatest friends ever. Near and far, you know who you are.

22. My favorite color is pink. I have a pink phone and two pink cameras. Half of my wardrobe is pink. That's not an exaggeration.

23. I drink 8 glasses of water a day and love it!

24. I have a lot of shoes and heels that I only wear on occasion. I only wear three pairs of shoes on a regular basis. Flip flops, converse and a pair of flats.

25. Jesus is everything to me and nothing or no one can tear me away from Him.