a weekend with jason gray.

Well, the day has come and gone, and I've been trying to gather it all together. The truth is, I can't. No matter how hard I try and think about how I could possibly write a blog about this past weekend, I can't wrap my mind around it. So I will attempt to write a blog about it, and we'll see how it turns out. Here we go...

Four weeks ago, Jason sent me an e-mail, asking me if my church would like to have him come and play on a Saturday night. He said that he would be traveling around the midwest, and making his way down south all the week before, so since he was in the area he wanted to know if we wanted to host him. I spoke to the people at my church, they said they would love to have him come. With a lot more details then just that, and a ton of trust in God, we got him here.

I was going to have Jason stay at my house on Friday night, so with that and the planning of the concert, I was one busy girl, who was running on little sleep for about a month. I was painting the bathroom and putting the touch ups on the edging, when I got the e-mail from Jason on Thursday afternoon, the day before he was supposed to arrive here if he was staying with us, that he was in fact going to be. With much excitement, nervousness, and adrenaline pumping through my veins, I got the bathroom done on Thursday evening. Friday I spent the day in a cleaning frenzy. I started when I woke up and stopped maybe three or four hours before he pulled into my driveway. Meanwhile, I had a splitting headache, exhaustion was setting in, and by the time he was sitting at my dining room table, I had nothing left inside of me. It's a good thing he did most of the talking.

We got to feed him a home-cooked meal of baked chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, salad and pumpkin pie for dessert. It was so great to be able to invite Jason into my home. He has done so much for me over the past two years since I've met him, it was the least I could do. It was great to get to hang out outside of a concert event, sharing with him a part of my family, and him sharing his many stories with us. We got to laugh a lot at some stories, and then we got to have more serious conversations. Something that you just don't get to do at a show.

I gave up my room for Jason to sleep in, and I slept on the couch. Even though I didn't sleep wonderful, it didn't phase me that much, because Jason got to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours. I was just fine with giving up my comfortable bed for a night, sacrificing my sleep, so he could be rested for the next day, and even the next to see his family and get ready to have a vacation with them!

The next morning we all got to have a leisurely morning, waking up, eating a late breakfast, and all sitting out on our back porch talking about music, movies, and books. I got to talk to Jason about things I would normally chat with him about on his message boards, but we actually got to talk about them on my back porch. It was so cool. I enjoyed it so much.

We got to talk a little bit about his music, the new record, what his favorite things about it were, what my favorite things about it were. I got to tell him things I kept reminding myself I was post on his boards, but never got the chance. Maybe that's the way it was supposed to be. Instead we got to talk about it in person, at my dining room table.

He got to do laundry at our house, our dryer ate one of his socks, and we got to eat cold-cut sandwiches together while going over power point for the show that night. All of the things I listed above, I was feeling nervous the whole time. You know, it's not everyday you get to have your favorite musical artist in your home, but around this time, I was starting to become more myself. I've known that Jason was a friend of mine, but there has always been that fan part of me in there. Not crazy fan or anything, just respecting what he does and his music. It was around this time, but not completely until later, that I realized that Jason and I are friends. Some people may not understand that, and that's okay. You don't have to. You can't fully understand until you've experienced it yourself. I'm grateful for the opportunity.

So, around 3:00 we packed up Jason's stuff in his mini-van. We were heading to the church with a couple of stops on the way. This is the part where I really felt as if Jason and I were friends. He cared enough to ask me about something that happened in my past, that has really defined who I am today. It is the cause of many of the fears and insecurities I have today, and the fact that he cared to ask and wanted to know touched my heart. He could identify with me on this subject, and we got to talk about something I don't think either of us talks to just anyone about.

We made a stop at Tropical Smoothie and had smoothies for dinner. Then we were headed on our way to the church. Then the madness began. I think that Saturday night was a defining moment in my life. I knew from the beginning that if this night went well, then I would know what God really wanted me to do with my life. I know that i've wanted to work in the music industry, but then somewhere along the way this year, I suddenly became confused with what it was I was to do with my life. So there was that to be nervous for, and just the fact that this was the first event I ever planned.

Things were hectic in the beginning, but then they just started falling into place. Jesus was telling to me trust Him once again, and I did. If I had tried to do any of this on my own, I have no idea how it would have turned out. It may not have even happened. Well, in the end, the night turned out more amazing than I could have ever hoped for. I know what God wants me to do with my life, and I know that many people were blessed my Jason and his music on Saturday night. It will be something that I remember and cherish for a long time to come. I'm so grateful for the opportunity. I so look forward to having Jason come and play at my church again, once we are in our new building. I look forward to the many lessons God has to teach me, and what He has in store for my life. Thank you Jason for your kindness. I think I will only ever be able to tell you how much you and your wife mean to me once we get to Heaven.

Today is the day. I'm one big ball of emotions. It's going to be a wonderful day, though. I'm looking forward to hanging out with Jason today. I'm interested to see how everything comes together at the concert. To see if my hard work has paid off. I feel like this show is like a 'make-it or break-it' thing. If this show goes well, then i'm almost 100% positive that God has completely shown me what i'm supposed to do with my life. It's exciting and nerve-wrecking all at the same time. If you think of it, pray for this evening. I believe that God is painting a really beautiful picture here.

If you want to come, here's some info:
November 14th, 2009
Doors: 6:00 p.m.
Concert: 6:30 p.m.

1470 SE Huffman Rd. Port St. Lucie, FL 34952
Love offering will be taken up for Jason and his ministry.
Child care available.

Have a wonderful day!

the week of.

It's the week of the Jason Gray extravaganza at my church this weekend. I'm mostly excited, but also nervous. It's turned into a bigger event then I thought it would. People calling and emailing asking for information, constant advertisement on the radio, and still tying up loose ends with Jason coming. I think this will be a huge defining moment for me and what I am supposed to do with my life, depending on how it goes. This has been a wonderful opportunity to see a bit of what goes into planning a concert, and making it happen.

Also, this has been a great learning experience in my walk with God. He's been testing me, and seeing how strong my faith is, and how much I trust Him. It's been tough, but it's better that I do. In the end, i'll be grateful for it. There are times where I want to freak out and take things into my own hands, but I end up destroying myself in the end. My emotions are flying left and right, and I can feel my stomach twisting and turning. The latest loop that has been thrown my way has been completely different. I feel peace and completely understand that God's got it. This is not my concert, ultimately it is His.

family outing.

Yesterday was quite the day. I spent it with my family, and it was lovely. My favorite part of the day was yesterday evening. We went on a family outing. I knew where we were going, because my mom told me. We were going to see "Where The Wild Things Are" and go out to dinner at Duffy's. My step-sister Sarah and two step-brothers Jacob and Chris had no idea.

So we set off yesterday afternoon, on our way to Lowe's for 'three hours' before the movie started. They all looked so thrilled, I almost couldn't handle the excitement. While we were walking in, my mom and Brad were telling them that we were going to grab a hot dog on our way out. Jacob was so excited. The best part was that he had absolutely no idea. I love the excitement of a 9 year old. We walked around Lowe's for about an hour, looking at things to repair our bathrooms.

On our way out, we realized that the hot dog stand was gone. So we were 'trying' to figure out what to do. Brad said "Well, we've got 7-11 or Hess for dinner." Ha! We 'decided' on Hess. Meanwhile, Brad is driving over to where Duffy's is and they still just don't get it. We got out of the car and started walking up and Brad says to Jacob while we're walking in, "We're only going to the bathroom in here, then we're leaving." Jacob says, "I don't have to go to the bathroom." Brad says, "Just go in!" and nudges him in. Then we talk to the hostess and she seats us. Then Jacob realizes that we are not eating at Hess and we are, in fact, eating at Duffy's. He then proceeds to go "Oh yeah! I love this place!" and does a triumphant fist pump. It was cute.

After enjoying a meal, we made our way to the mall. We walked around a little bit to wait for the movie to start. Then, it was finally time! I just have to say, this movie was everything I thought it would be and more. The funny thing is, I hated the book when I was little, because it scared me. It was quite the opposite for the movie, though. It left me reaching deep down inside myself for the things of my past. It was interesting to see the different character traits of the Wild Things, and how Max related to them. We finished the night with ice cream from McDonalds. My family never really gets to do things like that, so it was a really nice thing to get to do.

Whew! Sorry about that post earlier. I just had to get that out of my system. I'm doing much better this afternoon.

Well, Happy Halloween, my friends! It's another hot day here in Florida. For some reason every Halloween is always super hot. It's a bummer, because it makes it really hard to get into the mood for great Fall festivities. I plan on handing out candy to the trick or treaters. It will probably be a pretty quiet night. Halloween isn't as big as it used to be in my neighborhood, since most of the kids (my old friends) have all grown up and gone off to college. Not many new kids have moved into the neighborhood. Ah, well, I hope all of you have a great evening filled of fun and fall! Happy Halloween!

honestly.

I hope this doesn't put a damper on anyone's Halloween parade, but i've got to be honest for a minute here.

Sometimes I seriously wonder if anyone's parents taught them how to think before they speak, but lately i've been dealing with a lot of people talking and they have no idea. Like, seriously? Did your parents teach you? Do you think before you speak? Have you ever thought of how your comments and hurt someone or mess with someone's mind? I mean, really, it's common sense. Thanks for proving my point even further that barely anyone has any of that stuff.

There will always be someone out there who tries to take a good thing and turn it into a bad thing. Maybe out of jealously, maybe because they just don't understand, or maybe they really just don't have enough common sense to realize how badly it can bother someone. So please, if you're reading this, atleast while you're around me, use that thing in your head called a brain before you speak. Think about how your words and actions can really hurt someone in the long run.

On my agenda for today:

1. Concert planning.
2. Straightening up my house.
3. Washing my dog.
4. Clean my room.
5. Job interview at Justice.
6. Maybe fit in some leisurely reading.
7. Concert planning.
8. Enjoy a great evening with my church family at our 2nd annual fall festival!

Have a wonderful day! I hope you get to enjoy some great fall festivities this weekend!